Desire ’18

There are quiet little spaces

Between signs and hesitations

Where a quaint stillness flutters

Like a dusted, caged bird

With the smallest little voice,

That breaks into the most lavish tune

But only for a shortened vacation,

Before it must return to its yearning state

One might become tired of a release,

That always ends up being torn away

I have known for years it would be this way,

Yet I am not accustomed to taking turn

Instead I plot like a thief

Trying to obscure time and attention from you

Has affection ever seemed so menacing?

I want to lend thought and touch to you

Unbound by a restricted timeline

For I’ve chased you like a thirst,

And miles have gone unranked beneath

Such chilled toes and sunken feet

To lead unto the short moment in which,

I might greet you face-to-face

For the resonance of my will,

Echoes in tides of affection

To come crashing about your shore

On more than a mere seasonal basis

Despite all you’ve given,

I reach out, in calling, demanding,

“more.”

 

This poem was written in the midst of 2018, some uncertain time between my transition out of the military lifestyle and adventures overseas. I wanted more than anything to be in love, back then, in fact for a little bit I thought I might have been. That affection was eventually smothered out, but the words remain there, forever reminding me that I had felt that way once before.

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